I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize