Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
