there's paper in my vomit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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