Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
