feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
