I showed him my bush... on skype.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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