Plan B is the new Plan A
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
