i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
