Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
