Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
