How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There r osticjed everywhere
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
