If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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