You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
