I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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