im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you inspire me to be a worse person
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
