i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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