Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize