they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
