Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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