I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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