Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
