i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
