i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
