Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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