My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
