well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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