The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize