this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
