Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
