The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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