I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
