Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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