that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize