its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
