I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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