Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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