He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize