porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
