Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize