I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
