I'm so fucking centered right now
They should really pass out barf bags in church
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i've created a new STD.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
