The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
