when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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