4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
