Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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