We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
