he thought i was a dude.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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