So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
only you would photoshop your dick
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
