Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
