Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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