2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
