i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize