not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
