And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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