in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
