he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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