We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
