I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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