Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
